


Affinity for Gardenias

by DecemberCamie



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Humans and trolls living together on same planet, Karkat needs help, Relationship Advice, because he is an idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-16
Updated: 2014-06-16
Packaged: 2018-02-04 20:20:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1791955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DecemberCamie/pseuds/DecemberCamie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Karkat.”</p><p>“I know, I know, shut up! Don’t say it!”</p><p>“You so flippin’ pale for this Gamzee kid-”</p><p>“- and you went and said it anyway.”</p><p>“You gotta ask this guy out.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Affinity for Gardenias

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place in some universe where trolls and humans live together in peace and there was no Homestuck game, no Condescendence or Grand Highblood, etc. Some of the trolls know each other, but not all of them have met yet.

“…hello?”

“Uh, Eridan?”

“….”

“Eridan? Its me- its. Um. It’s Karkat.”

“Kar, is that actually you?”

“I- yeah. Yeah. It is.”

“Geez, I haven’t heard from you, since…when was it-”

“Yeah, I know. Listen, I didn’t mean to, you know, not call. Everything just got kind of…busy. And I’m sorry for that, really.”

“That’s not why you’re callin’ though.”

“What do you mean that’s not the reason-”

“I can hear it in your voice, Kar. Why’d ya really call?”

“…oh, hey, look at the time, you know I just remembered I have something-”

“Kar-”

“- I really gotta go-”

“Karkat-”

“- sorry again for not calling sooner-”

“KARKAT! Shut the hell up for a flippin’ second, will you?!”

“…”

“Stop bein’ a coward for glub’s sake. Just talk to me, I promise I won’t laugh or get mad at you for whatever it is you wanna tell me.”

“You’ll think it’s stupid.”

“No, I won’t.”

“Yes, you will.”

“Try me.”

“Okay, just…god. This is harder than I thought it was going to be.”

“What is? What’s goin’ on?”

“I- I want to know- how-”

“How what?! Are you in trouble for somethin’-?”

“How did you know you were pale for Feferi?”

“…”

“There. I said it. And you probably think I’m some weirdo now, crushing on your moirail- why am I so stupid-?”

“No, Kar, that’s not- I don’t think that. I’m just, uh, surprised. That kinda came outta nowhere.”

“So you don’t think I’m a weirdo?”

“Well, I always knew you were kind of odd-”

“Eridan.”

“- so thanks for confirming it-”

“Eridan.”

“Kiddin’, Kar, kiddin’. No, I don’t think you’re weird. At least not any weirder than I already knew you were.”

“That- that’s, um. Good. Thanks, for that.”

“So, you wanna know when I figured I was pale for Fef?”

“Um. Yeah. If it’s that’s okay with you. I don’t know if that’s too personal for you or not, but I’d figured I’d ask anyways.”

“It’s fine. It’s not like I’m tryin’ to keep a secret or anyfin’. Let’s see, when did I fall for Fef? It was maybe half a year before we got together, I think. We were at the beach, sun setting and stuff.”

“Sounds cliché.”

“Shut up, Kar. You’re the one who wanted to hear this. As I was saying, it was nice. More than nice. It was- perfect. I remember sitting on the shore- Fef was in the water- and watching her, thinkin’ about the two of us and where we were goin’.”

“You didn’t know you were going to be together?”

“Hate to break it to you but not every moirail story starts with pale from first sight. I mean, yeah, I had feelings for her. There was no denyin’ that. I just didn’t know how far I was willing to go. I wasn’t sure if I was ready for it. I’m kind of a loner, you know?”

“Oh, I know-” 

“Anyway. I was sittin’ there ‘cause I didn’t wanna go in the water for whatever reason that day. But she was in the water, having a ton a fun all by herself and the fishes. As I watched, the sun caught her wet hair just perfectly, her smile brighter than anythin’ I’ve ever seen.”

“…”

“Her laughter sounded like music to my ears. I sat there, and it struck me, just then that I would do anythin’, anythin’ to keep her lookin’ like that. Happy. Peaceful. The fierceness of my need to protect her surprised me. And that’s when I knew; Fef was the one for me. My one and only diamond. I would do anything for her.”

“…”

“You okay, Kar?”

“-yeah. Yeah. Sorry. You’re right, that was- nice. Really nice.”

“Mmm. I thought so, too. Now tell me why you want to know about my moirail.”

“I- I don’t want anything with Feferi!”

“Then why’re you askin’ about her?”

“It’s not about her, stupid.! It’s about-”

“Yeah?”

“Never mind.”

“No way. I told you what you wanted to know now you gotta tell me why you needed to know it. Have you met someone?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Ampora.”

“Don’t I, Vantas? You’ve watched enough romcoms, why the sudden interest in real life pale love?”

“Romcoms are based on real love stories, you flap-mouthed-!”

“No they’re not. Stop lying, you know that’s the truth. You wouldn’t have asked me for advice otherwise.”

“I wasn’t asking for advice!”

“You’re not kiddin’ anybody, Karkat.”

“…”

“So. You gonna tell me who’s the lucky troll that’s finally managed to capture you’re wondering diamond or do I have to get Sol to stalk you until he finds out for me?”

“First of all, screw you Eridan. Second, if you tell Sollux any part of this conversation, not even Feferi will be able to keep you safe from my deadly wrath. Thirdly, I did not- do not have a wandering diamond!”

“C’mon, please. You were always pale flirting with everybody when we were younger.”

“This is different! He’s-”

“Oh, so there is someone.”

“…okay, fine. I’ll give. Yes, there is someone and if you dare to breathe a word of this to anyone -”

“Yeah, yeah, you’ll skin me alive, I get it. At least you’re not hiding your feelings anymore. Do you need advice on pale flirting or something? Is that why you called me?”

“Ugh. Please don’t phrase it like that; you make me sound like an idiot who can’t manage to flirt properly.”

“Well you’re capable of pale flirting, I’ll tell you that much. You did it subconsciously all the time in school, even if you deny it.”

“Well how do you pale flirt consciously? Like, how do I make him know that I- that I sorta-”

“Whoa, Kar, this sounds serious! You’re really into this guy!”

“No freakin’ duh, moron! I wouldn’t have bothered calling you if I wasn’t serious!”

“- at least tell me it’s a troll. Humans are so hard to have quadrant relationships with.”

“It’s a troll.”

“And it’s a male.”

“Yeah.”

“Anyone I know?”

“Uh, maybe? I don’t know who you’re associated with on a day-to-day basis. Do I sound like a stalker to you?”

“Depends. How long have you been followin’ this troll of yours around?”

“Wha- what makes you think I follow him around?!”

“Because I know you, and that is definitely somethin’ you would do.”

“…okay, maybe I follow him around sometimes. But only sometimes! Definitely not all the time.”

“You’re in total denial.”

“You know what, Eridan? Why don’t you just shut up-”

“Hey, I’m on your side, remember? Where did you even meet this guy?”

“At a, uh, restaurant. It was a couple of weeks ago…”

“You go out to eat often?”

“No. But it was my birthday and Kanaya said she wanted to treat me.”

“Wait, Kanaya was there?”

“Yes.”

“And you met your pale crush at the restaurant? The place Kanaya took you to for your birthday?”

“I just said all of this not even a minute ago. Already going deaf, Eridan? Maybe you should spend a little more time out of the water-”

“You’re totally blind, aren’t you, Kar?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“Can’t you see what was going on? Kanaya was totally takin’ you out on a pale date, Karkat.”

“…what?”

“You think you’re so smart, lookin’ up all the quadrant stuff you can get your hands on. But you can’t even tell when someone’s trying to make a pass on you. You never could.”

“But- no, that’s impossible. Kanaya and I are just friends. She was trying to be nice-”

“Open up your eyes and wake up. Kanaya’s had a pale crush on you for years. Everyone knew it, except you. You were just too blind to see it.”

“…”

“And you don’t see her like that, I’m guessing.”

“No. I- I feel terrible. But it never even occurred to me to look at her like that. I’m such an idiot! Kanaya was trying to date me and instead I fall for the waiter-”

“The waiter?”

“Say anything offensive and I swear I’ll punch your teeth out the next time I lay my eyes on your pompous face.”

“You gotta learn to get these threats under control, Kar.”

“Shut up. I can’t believe…ugh, I hate myself so much! Why did it have to be Kanaya, of all trolls? She deserves better than me.”

“Listen, there’s no point in dwellin’ on this. You don’t see Kanaya the way she sees you, and that’s that. You can’t beat yourself up about it especially if it’s gonna stop you from chasin’ after this waiter troll guy.”

“Ugh, you sound like a therapist.”

“And this is why you need a moirail.”

“Okay, I got it.”

“How’d you end up fallin’ for your waiter anyway? Was he that bad of a waiter or somethin’?”

“You could say that. He was pretty awful, actually. He kept messing up our orders, and normally something like that would bother me, but it didn’t this time. I don’t know why. Maybe it was because it was obvious how hard he was trying to make us happy? He spent a while talking to us, making sure we were happy with our food so far, and how did we like the flowers in the place…stupid stuff like that. He even came out with a cupcake after our dinner because he’d overheard Kanaya wishing me a happy birthday. He accidently dumped it into my lap, of course, but it was sweet regardless.”

“I think you mean romantic.”

“I don’t think he was trying to hit on me, I think he was just being himself. I saw him there like a week later and he was still tripping over his own two feet. And his hair- what a goddamn mess. I don’t think it’s been washed in like, a freakin’ year.”

“…”

“What?”

“You are sucha goner, do you realize that? Kan really never had a chance.”

“Don’t- I don’t want to talk about Kanaya, please. Okay?”

“Okay, okay. I won’t bring it up again. Uh, so, when was the last time you saw what’s his name?”

“Um. Today?”

“Today?!”

“I- he- he also works at a toy shop I visited, okay?”

“But, Kar, you don’t even like toys! You never did, even as a kid!”

“I was just passing by and saw him. So I said hi. Is that a crime now? Saying hi to trolls you know?”

“Oh so he’s your friend now-”

“Yeah, he’s my friend. Or at least he called me that.”

“What’s this guy’s name?”

“Gamzee. He’s a, uh, purple blood.”

“I’ve never heard of ‘im.”

“He just moved here a couple of months ago. He works at whatever jobs he can to make money, so that’s why I see him around a lot.”

“Define ‘a lot’.”

“Maybe, I don’t know…every other day?”

“Karkat.”

“I know, I know, shut up! Don’t say it!”

“You so flippin’ pale for this Gamzee kid-”

“- and you went and said it anyway.”

“You gotta ask this guy out.”

“That’s why I called you to help me in the first place! I mean, I- I want to- ugh! I can’t believe I’m saying this but- I want to try with him. He’s such a mess and I whenever I see him I just get this weird feeling in my chest like whenever I see him sad for even the shortest second-”

“Does he feel the same?”

“Does- you mean is Gamzee pale for me?”

“I think I can hear you blushin’ through the phone. It’s almost disgusting how pale you are for this guy. I’ve never heard you stutter like this before, except maybe when Terezi does somethin’ more embarrassin’ than usual. You’re normally bossin’ the rest of us around and stuff.”

“Yeah, well, that’s only because you guys are a bunch of worthless idiots. You’d be lost without me to order you around.”

“Seems to me our positions have changed.”

“…”

“Listen, Kar, there’s only one way to find out if Gam is interested in you or not.”

“Yeah?”

“Just ask him.”

“…you’re kidding, right?”

“No. You gotta be honest about this kind of stuff. Having a moirail, you gotta be honest with them all the time so they can help you when you need it. That’s the whole point, right? So if you want somethin’ to happen with Gam you gotta tell him that.”

“Wha- what if he rejects me flat out?! Then I’d look like a freaking desperate moron-”

“You don’t have to tell him how much you’re interested! Cod, just, ask him out. That should give him the right idea.”

“But. What if he doesn’t understand? He’s kind of absent minded, I don’t know if he would think it’s just a casual friend thing or an actual date-”

“Kar. This is all you gotta say: Hello, Gamzee. I was wonderin’ if you’d be interested in goin’ out on a pale date with me. I think we would be good moirails. There. Boom. Done.”

“You make it sound easy.”

“That’s how I asked Fef out-”

“Of course you did.”

“- but let me tell you, it wasn’t easy. At all. It takes guts. And Kar, you got guts.”

“…thanks, Eridan. That- that means a lot.”

“No problem. Call me and let me know how it went.”

“Yeah. We’ll see.”

-o0o-

“Hello?”

“Eridan!”

“Ow, jeez! Holy fu-”

“…uh, hello? Eridan, are you there-?”

“- Karkat, you just screamed into my ear!”

“Oh, uh, sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

“Sure you didn’t, but my ear’s still goin’ deaf anyway! I dropped the phone you were so loud. Fef even yelled from across the house to ask if I was ok!”

“I said I was sorry! Stop being such a wriggler.”

“Stop yellin’ in trolls’ ears and I’ll stop complainin’! Why the hell were you screamin’ in the first place?”

“Eridan, I asked him.”

“You asked…?”

“Gamzee! You know, the troll I called you about last week? You told me to ask him out on a date flat out and see how it went?”

“Oh, right, the purple blood! How’d it go?”

“It went- amazing. I just. Ugh. It was perfect. He’s perfect. Well, a perfect mess, but still. I asked him and he went so purple, you wouldn’t believe it if I told you. He didn’t say anything for like a whole minute so I started to get freaked out, you know, because what the hell was I supposed to think-”

“Whoa, whoa, slow down. You’re babblin’. So you’re officially dating?”

“YES! And we have another date tomorrow. But I was getting to that if you just let me talk!”

“Okay! Jeez. I’ll just shut up and let you talk then.”

“Good, that’s how it should be. So, anyway, as I was saying before…”

~THE END~

**Author's Note:**

> Gardenias are flowers found in regions of Africa, southern Asia, Australasia and Oceania. It's petals are white or pale yellow in color. I used Gardenias in the title to refer to moirallegiance.
> 
> I do not own Homestuck. This work was unedited, so sorry if there's any mistakes. Thanks for reading!


End file.
